Well I’ve made it to the end of the week and haven’t done anything dumb. I’ve asked my husband to help me make an appointment with my doctor. Hopefully I can express my frustration and get some more serious help. I’m not putting too much faith in it, but it’s worth a shot.
My husband made me go out of the house today. We went into town and put some money in the bank, which does offer a little bit of relief to know that while we’re still struggling financially, we’ll survive at least another month. It did feel a little bit nice to be out of the house, but the whole time I just really wanted to be back home. I was so glad when we made it back and I could crawl back into bed.
I’ve got a new video game to distract me from my spiraling thoughts and feelings. I’m still feeling quite desperate, though. I missed more days at work. Thankfully, they understand depression, but I still feel really crap that I’m not even able to go to the job I love because I feel so… dark. I hope next week I’m able to go back even if I’m still feeling shitty.