Drinking the night away

I drank again tonight.  I drank the whole bottle of wine.  It’s been ages since I’ve done that.  Thankfully, I wasn’t tempted to cut or OD despite my husband being gone.  I played a video game and chatted with a few folks on Skype.

I’m actually doing okay tonight.  Tomorrow will be a different story because I’m going to try to go back to work.  Tonight, I’m thankful for the pe0ple I’ve met online & chat with on Skype.

Great… just great

Tonight I’ve learned that my husband isn’t going to be starting his job anytime soon.  There’s some kind of hang-up in the hiring process.  This means our financial troubles aren’t going to be over any time soon.  I’m so excited.  Can you tell?

We’re coming up on our anniversary and we can’t even afford to do anything.  I feel a bit upset with him.  Mostly because he spent months unemployed and not even attempting to look for a job.  He just waited until one landed in his lap.  It’s put us in a very sticky financial situation and I’m very anxious about it.  It’s eating me up.  I also feel guilty for feeling this way, especially as we near our anniversary.

So tonight I’m drinking away my sorrows.  Not healthy.  I know.  I’m not an alcoholic.  I actually hardly ever drink.  But I’ll probably do this again tomorrow night.  Just for some sort of relief from the anxiety and the depression and the pain.  It’s either drink or go back to considering ODing and/or cutting.